Kids make mistakes. And lots of those mistakes involve messes.
An important part of learning from their mistakes (messes) is being able to fix them. For example:
I came out of my room the other day to find that three of my children had colored on the dining room table with permanent marker. PERMANENT. MARKER.
I cried. I sent myself to my room, and I just cried. (It was the end of a long day. Don’t judge.)
I think that my reaction surprised my children a little bit. They kept knocking at my door to ask me if I was ok. I told them I wasn’t, and that I was upset at them for using markers, which were off-limits, to color on my table.
As I started to calm down I tried to figure out what I was going to do. I searched the ‘all-knowing’ internet for ideas on how to clean it off. I have removed permanent marker from fabric before using vodka (that’s another story), but I was a little worried about that taking the varnish off the table.
The first thing I tried just happened to work. Toothpaste, dry paper towels, and lots of scrubbing.
But I did not scrub alone.
All three of the culprits were scrubbing with me. And I made sure they worked just as long as I did.
Part of learning from our mistakes is doing our best to fix them. Pain brings change. If I rob my children of the opportunity to feel the ‘pain’ of fixing their mistake, I rob them of the lesson. If I rob them of the lesson, they will probably make that mistake again.
After getting everything cleaned off I informed them they were all grounded from crayons, markers, pencils, pens, etc. for a LONG time. They needed to earn back my trust that they will only use what they are allowed to.
The crazy thing was, they were ok with that.
They felt so good about helping to remove the permanent marker from the table that they were willing to accept the consequence of their action. They felt empowered! It was amazing to see.
We all learned from our mistakes that day. I probably learned the most.
I learned to hide my markers better, that toothpaste will take permanent marker off of finished wood (who knew?), and that learning doesn’t come by making mistakes, it comes by fixing them.
Not one of my kids has touched a permanent marker since. 🙂
