Manage Restaurant Behavior

I love Christmas traditions! And my kids are finally starting to value them. They have already started to remind me of things that we did last year at Christmas time that they want to do again.

There are lots of reasons that we have traditions: to remind us of something special, to feel close to family and friends, to serve, to have fun, because it tastes good, or just because it’s tradition. My favorite traditions are the ones that remind me of people I love, and of feeling loved.

In our family we have a tradition that is for learning and practice.

Every year sometime before Christmas, we take our family (there will be six of us this year) out to eat. We don’t go to a fast food place, or a drive thru. We go somewhere that we have to sit down and order. Some people have commented to me that I’m crazy for taking all of my kids to a nice restaurant, and I probably am. But at least it’s crazy with a purpose. 🙂

We use it as a teaching opportunity.

Before we go we have a discussion about what kind of behavior is expected in a restaurant. We go through different scenarios and talk about what is appropriate. It changes with the age of the children but is usually things like, “Is it ok to throw food?” “Do we stand on the chairs?” “How do we talk?” “Do we cry?” “Do we stick our hand in our cup?” “If you want the ice from your cup how do you get it?” This gets all of us on the same page before we go, and gives a review on table manners.

We also talk about what will happen if someone is not able to act like they should. They get taken outside. That way if someone acts up and has to be taken out for a little while, they are not surprised. This also prepares my husband and me to draw the line. We are more likely to follow through and take someone outside to calm down, rather than just breathing threats all night long.

Another part of this tradition is that those who are old enough to speak order their own food. While at the table we practice what they will say when the waiter/waitress comes to take our order. If they want their food they have to say it (Mom and Dad stand ready to interpret and repeat anything that is not understood). My kids love this part! They feel so grown up ordering their own food.

The hardest part of the night is keeping everyone entertained as we wait for food. It is tempting to allow kids to play on the phones to keep them quiet. But they need to learn about conversing with others. So we try to talk. We color together on the kids’ menus (if they have them). We play question games, where we ask each other silly questions.

Someday my kids will go out to eat with others. I ask myself, how do I want them to act? Do I want them to be buried in their phone? Or do I want them to be present? We try to model and practice good restaurant manners.

Since this is a Christmas tradition, we leave a generous tip for whoever served us. (I’ll be honest, they definitely deserve it.) As our kids get older I plan to have them contribute also. The joy of giving at Christmas time is one of the BEST traditions!

Having this special time to practice good behavior in a restaurant eases so much stress. Going out to eat during the rest of the year is so much more enjoyable because I know we have practiced, and the kids know we have practiced. We are able to enjoy each others’ company more.

I think the only thing we are missing from this tradition is a picture of it. I guess we’ll have to start that this year. 🙂