Manage the Mayhem

Kids bring mayhem. Lots. Of. Mayhem. It comes as messes, scrapes, bruises, broken bones, spills, stains, tummy aches, food, noise, blood, tears, heartache, diapers, etc… Children can turn ANYTHING into mayhem!

I have discovered that little kids aren’t usually trying to make my life harder. They are just born with that talent. I have 4 wonderful little bouncing bundles of joy, ages 5, 4, 2, and 3 months who are the greatest cause of mayhem that my life has ever known. Some days I feel like I am being swallowed. It blows my mind the things they can come up with that wreak havoc on my day.

So many, many, MANY things are unpredictable and unavoidable. Kids fall, and they bleed all over everything. Siblings fight, and someone gets hurt. Sons try to be big like Dad, and spill the entire gallon of milk on the floor. Daughters want to wear make up like Mom, and nail polish gets in places you didn’t even knew existed in your bathroom. All in one day.

That’s just how it happens.

And when I’m not ready for it, I go into meltdown mode.

My family knows exactly what this looks like, and it’s not pretty.

So I’ve discovered a secret.

It’s called, thinking ahead. Or planning ahead. Or visualizing. Or role playing. Take your pick.

It might sound crazy but I have run the spilled gallon of milk scenario through my head before. I went through what would happen: the floor would be soaked, the cabinets would probably be covered, a gallon of milk would be totally wasted, and a crying and very surprised child would probably be sitting in the middle of it all, and it would take me a very long time to get it cleaned up. Then I went through, in my mind’s eye, how I wanted to react to it. I knew I didn’t want to yell and scream at my child and make him or her feel even worse than he or she already did. I wanted to be the awesome mom that doesn’t yell and scream and get upset. I wanted to be the mom that stays calm. I wanted to use this chance to show my kid that mistakes happen to the best of us, I understand their situation and I am here for them, and that they are capable of cleaning up spilled milk. (This is going to happen again, anyway.)

This sounds like I put in a lot of work into something that hadn’t even happened yet, I know. But I can tell you that it did happen later. A WHOLE ENTIRE GALLON OF MILK! I really wanted to freak out. I wanted to go and shut myself in my room and just cry. It was the last gallon of milk and milk wasn’t going on sale again for another few days. I had plans for that milk! And the last thing I had wanted to do with my morning was clean it up.

But, I didn’t freak out. I almost did. That’s usually my reaction when a sudden, unexpected mess comes up. I took in a breath and held it. I looked at my child, and in their eyes I saw a question. What’s Mom going to do? They were holding their breath too. It was then that I had a flashback to the scenario I had already played out in my mind.

And I went with that one.

I was the awesome mom that day! I got to be the calm mom that takes everything in stride. I was ready for this, and I could handle this! And I felt my love for my child grow that day. They wanted to fix their mistake. They wanted to make it better. And they did. And they felt good about themselves. And the next time a little milk got spilled, they jumped right up to get it clean and then moved on with their life.

And all because I had thought about what I would do if that happened.

Mayhem just happens. It is part of life. Especially a life with any children around. But I can learn to manage it.

I can manage the mayhem.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. 🙂